Dealing With My Grief

As I think about things that I have to do to settle mom's estate, I realize that once I go through the rest of her personal effects, I will go through another huge wave of emotions. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like. That's part of the future of my grief journey.

When I look back at where I started with the death of my father, I realize how far I've come. I know I can handle it. I know that grief will come and go. Some days will be fun and easy, and some days will be hard. I have learned this by looking back at the death of my father and realizing that I have come this far. I know that in the end, it'll all be OK. I know my past is currently helping the present portion of my grief journey cope.

Somehow, I'm fixated on the the future... and I shouldn't be. I need to let the anxiety of how I will feel finalizing some things go and live in the now, this current moment. I know that there will be other moments that will sting - like going back to visit St. Louis on future trips and not not seeing mom, or having the house be in a different state than in the last time she lived there... and of course, here not being there.

I need to keep telling myself to live in the now and let the feelings of the future just come when they come and deal with them then and not think about what I might feel ahead of time.

Also, you can now call/text the show: Call/text me at (240)778-5200

This week, I'm looking forward to Joshua Black of the Grief Dreams podcast coming to Washington, DC for a conference. I'll finally get to meet him and hopefully sit down and put together some type of future episode of the podcast.

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As I write this, my mother is lying in a hospital bed resting comfortably. I am facing the fact that one day she won't be here... the first time in my life I have really thought about it.

And now, I can't stop thinking about it... That one thought is now affecting every aspect of my life - work, family, friends, relationships... EVERYTHING!!

I talk myself out of hitting rock bottom.

I have always been one who has been able to compartmentalize life and not have certain area effect others. Like some people don't like their vegetables touching on their plate.

Right now right now grief is like my mashed potatoes and its touching everythng else on my plate of life... and I don't like the taste!

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