Dealing With My Grief

I have been AWOL 3 of the last 5 weeks. Putting the finishing touches on getting mom's house cleaned out was a bigger challenge than I thought it would be... and more emotional as well.

I'm exhausted... I'm drained.

I can take solace in the fact that Christmas is around the corner and I can visit homes where some of mom's things now reside. I am grateful for this.

I didn't think that the house would mean so much to me. I'd only "lived" there for 2 years before I went off to discover and challenge life as a young adult.

I'm still processing a few things, but hopefully the roughest part is behind me.

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As I post this, I am in St. Louis... at my mom's house... finally going through her things.

As I spent 13 hours in a car driving here, I had a lot of time to think about this process; how hard it might be and the emotions i would face as I tried to determine what I would keep for myself, what I might offer to others and what I woulkd just get red of entirely.

It was difficult when I first got started but I decided it would be easier if I could establish a closer connection to mom while I was here. So I decided to change the linen on her bed and sleep in her room. It has been a very calming experience over the last few days... very calming emotionally. It has definitely taken the edge of what as been and emotional roller coaster.

I have to also take time to thank my family and friends who have supported me through this process. I have not been the easiest person to reach or to talk to in fear of having to answer the question of when was I going to begin the process ofg cleaning out mom's house. They are a truly amazing group of people,

I have found that I can do what I con and when it becomes too much, just take a break until you can do more. Eventually you'll reach your goal.

Thank you for supporting me through this process.